About eighteen months ago, our beautiful girl Minette got the flu. It was right in the middle of gymnastics season (her favourite activity!), and she hated being ill and not able to participate as much as she wanted to. Like moms do, Antoinette did everything she could to make sure that Minette kept herself relatively quiet, and even went as far as keeping her out of school for a whole week, because she was clearly not well.
Well, Minette got better (as they do), and slowly started picking up where she left off - except that she still wasn't fully recovered. When another week went by, and she complained of chest pains and being tired, Antoinette took her to the doc again to be checked out. I was relatively unaware of all the turmoil, simply noticing that Minette was not getting well as soon as she should have, so you may imagine my shock when I called Antoinette at the doctors only to learn that Minette has been referred for a heart sonar - because her pulse rate was unusually high, and the doc picked up a distinct heart murmur.
It was all poor Antoinette could do to keep her pose while she took Minette straight for the sonar (which, she learnt afterwards, was already incredible that she got the opportunity to have done straight away). The sonar confirmed the fears of the GP that one of the valves in Minette's little heart (I'll leave it to the clever medics to say which exact one), was indeed not sealing properly, and was apparently under-performing as a result of the flu-bout.
Of course we were all very shocked, and speaking for myself, I immediately recalled horror-stories of children suffering through life requiring constant care and attention, and never being able to participate in anything physical as a result of heart conditions. A follow-up appointment was made, with strict instructions that Minette should abstain from any physical exercise, and keep herself very, very quiet.
A month later, after a long school holiday during which Minette's symptoms showed (to our untrained and optimistic eyes) improvement, they were back at the doctor's to see if, like she hoped, Minette's heart had improved as a result of the rest. We were all very optimistic, so our disappointment and confusion was immense when there was no improvement. The GP was very worried, and referred Minette to a specialist pediatric cardiologist. Words that I never wanted to hear in the same sentence as our precious little girl's name. Unfortunately, the cardiologist could only see us in another month - leaving us with three months of fear and doubt to struggle through.
In the meantime, there was nothing for it but to put on a brave face and wait. Except...this is where the questions start.
Both Antoinette and I, even though anxious for Minette's health, were strangely calm about it. During this period, I guess we could have gone one of two ways: We could question God about the reasons behind this, or we could trust Him. Not only trust Him to heal Minette, but trust Him. Full stop.
This, of course, is much easier said than done! Trust requires both an object and a subject. I trust in someone for something, not so? So then the question arose: What do we trust God for? At this time, we also discussed this issue in our church’s cell group, and I came to the shocking realisation that this was not an academic / theological exercise, but an existential one. Explaining it away does nothing to address the angst of the moment. These kinds of issues are not only to be understood, they are to be lived, experienced, felt and prayed through.
I had to learn to trust God for His sovereign grace in this situation - that He would take care of this, even though I could not. My prayers therefore, were simple. I confessed to Jesus my inability to understand the situation, and prayed that He would heal Minette. I did not try to use any prayer formulas, or think through the situation - I realised very quickly that this was simply a question of trusting in God for his sovereign provision in Minette's life.
Minette’s eighth birthday was coming up in a fortnight, and she was bent on having an ice-skating party with her friends. While we didn’t want to upset her (she was already spending school breaks in class while friends played outside because she could not run or be active without her pulse rate going through the roof), we silently prepared to break the news to her that skating was not on the cards any more, and that we’d have to plan for something much quieter.
Through a doctor friend at school, Antoinette was able to have an earlier appointment made with another cardiologist, and this time around we both arranged to be at the hospital with Minette. The day of the appointment, something very special happened: Her teacher at school invited the mothers of the other children in her grade to join them in class, and together with all her classmates they laid hands on Minette and prayed that she would be healed. Meanwhile, I came home from work early, and off we went to see the heart-doctor. Again, before we went into the hospital, we prayed together as a family (our youngest, Tertius, also came along), and asked the Lord for a positive outcome to the tests.
I was as nervous in the waiting room as I’ve ever been, and when we finally got called in to see the young specialist, I was still very tense. After she went through the normal preliminaries of obtaining a thorough medical background, she continued to do what all doctors (and car mechanics!) seem to do: Use fancy tools to look & listen while making a variety of noises which to the untrained and nervous ear sounds extremely ominous!
When she was finally done studying the heart sonars and myriad of other measurement results, she looked us straight in the eyes, and said the most beautiful words I’ve heard in a long time: “Well, I can’t see any reason why Minette can’t have a wonderful party next week – she’s as fit as a fiddle!” We were still trying to come to grips with this news, and unbelievingly pushed her for any restrictions or special care we should take, but the short story was simply that Minette’s heart had completely healed, and what remained of the issues she’d had was so minor as to be completely normal – she was free to be herself again. No more keeping her still, no more breaks sitting at her desk in class, no more avoiding running and jumping – she was as good as new!
Well, I guess that depends on your definition of a miracle. I’m not too concerned about whether or not some academician would call this a bona-fide, unmistakable act of God – that’s for Him to decide! What I do know is this: We (and many others) asked for Minette’s healing, and it was granted to us that she be fully restored. Is this a formula others can follow to guarantee healing of their sick? Absolutely not. Rather, my story is meant as encouragement to those who are going through similar pains of doubt and fear.
God never lost control of Minette’s health. He was never far in our time of need either, but we had a strong fortress in the time of need. Knowing that He was (in Schaefer’s words) “there, and not quiet”, carried us all through, and when Minette was finally healthy again there was no doubt in my mind that His mercy and grace was demonstrably present in this situation. It was instrumental in both her seemingly impossible recovery to health over the span of mere days between the previous doctor’s assessment and this last, as well as in our ability to find refuge in His love and kindness.
God did not heal our child immediately when we prayed, but he did much more: He provided an opportunity for a whole class of second-graders to see the power and effectiveness of prayer in action. He taught Antoinette and me the value of trusting in Him regardless of the circumstances, and He showed His power by healing our beautiful girl completely – in His time and His way.
As I’m writing this, it’s more than a year after the event, and Minette is doing great – and so are we. We have learnt to trust in His love, and praise His name for the grace we received in this situation. If you are going through a similar situation, I dearly wish that I had a magic formula, or secret prayer to share that would make your fear and sorrow disappear. I don’t. What I do have though, is confirmation that Jesus is real, loving, merciful and ever-present. There is no need to face life alone. He is worthy to be trusted with your problems - and your soul.
In two weeks from now, God willing, I will have the wonderful privilege of baptising Minette, and seeing her also confirming and testifying to her identification with the death, resurrection and life of our risen Lord. If I know anything, I know this: God is a great God and worthy to be praised!
Well, Minette got better (as they do), and slowly started picking up where she left off - except that she still wasn't fully recovered. When another week went by, and she complained of chest pains and being tired, Antoinette took her to the doc again to be checked out. I was relatively unaware of all the turmoil, simply noticing that Minette was not getting well as soon as she should have, so you may imagine my shock when I called Antoinette at the doctors only to learn that Minette has been referred for a heart sonar - because her pulse rate was unusually high, and the doc picked up a distinct heart murmur.
It was all poor Antoinette could do to keep her pose while she took Minette straight for the sonar (which, she learnt afterwards, was already incredible that she got the opportunity to have done straight away). The sonar confirmed the fears of the GP that one of the valves in Minette's little heart (I'll leave it to the clever medics to say which exact one), was indeed not sealing properly, and was apparently under-performing as a result of the flu-bout.
Of course we were all very shocked, and speaking for myself, I immediately recalled horror-stories of children suffering through life requiring constant care and attention, and never being able to participate in anything physical as a result of heart conditions. A follow-up appointment was made, with strict instructions that Minette should abstain from any physical exercise, and keep herself very, very quiet.
A month later, after a long school holiday during which Minette's symptoms showed (to our untrained and optimistic eyes) improvement, they were back at the doctor's to see if, like she hoped, Minette's heart had improved as a result of the rest. We were all very optimistic, so our disappointment and confusion was immense when there was no improvement. The GP was very worried, and referred Minette to a specialist pediatric cardiologist. Words that I never wanted to hear in the same sentence as our precious little girl's name. Unfortunately, the cardiologist could only see us in another month - leaving us with three months of fear and doubt to struggle through.
In the meantime, there was nothing for it but to put on a brave face and wait. Except...this is where the questions start.
Questions…
Both Antoinette and I, even though anxious for Minette's health, were strangely calm about it. During this period, I guess we could have gone one of two ways: We could question God about the reasons behind this, or we could trust Him. Not only trust Him to heal Minette, but trust Him. Full stop.This, of course, is much easier said than done! Trust requires both an object and a subject. I trust in someone for something, not so? So then the question arose: What do we trust God for? At this time, we also discussed this issue in our church’s cell group, and I came to the shocking realisation that this was not an academic / theological exercise, but an existential one. Explaining it away does nothing to address the angst of the moment. These kinds of issues are not only to be understood, they are to be lived, experienced, felt and prayed through.
I had to learn to trust God for His sovereign grace in this situation - that He would take care of this, even though I could not. My prayers therefore, were simple. I confessed to Jesus my inability to understand the situation, and prayed that He would heal Minette. I did not try to use any prayer formulas, or think through the situation - I realised very quickly that this was simply a question of trusting in God for his sovereign provision in Minette's life.
The Answer
Some people, when faced with such inexplicable adversity, choose to question God's love, His faithfulness, His care. As for myself – in my lowest moments of doubt, I found refuge there!
Instead of asking how God could allow this if He is in control, I found rest in the very knowledge that He is in control! Please don’t get me wrong – this is not me praising myself for my high Christian morals, it is rather a confession of helplessness, and of how knowledge of the very character of the Father made it possible to work through the worry and confusion.Minette’s eighth birthday was coming up in a fortnight, and she was bent on having an ice-skating party with her friends. While we didn’t want to upset her (she was already spending school breaks in class while friends played outside because she could not run or be active without her pulse rate going through the roof), we silently prepared to break the news to her that skating was not on the cards any more, and that we’d have to plan for something much quieter.
Through a doctor friend at school, Antoinette was able to have an earlier appointment made with another cardiologist, and this time around we both arranged to be at the hospital with Minette. The day of the appointment, something very special happened: Her teacher at school invited the mothers of the other children in her grade to join them in class, and together with all her classmates they laid hands on Minette and prayed that she would be healed. Meanwhile, I came home from work early, and off we went to see the heart-doctor. Again, before we went into the hospital, we prayed together as a family (our youngest, Tertius, also came along), and asked the Lord for a positive outcome to the tests.
I was as nervous in the waiting room as I’ve ever been, and when we finally got called in to see the young specialist, I was still very tense. After she went through the normal preliminaries of obtaining a thorough medical background, she continued to do what all doctors (and car mechanics!) seem to do: Use fancy tools to look & listen while making a variety of noises which to the untrained and nervous ear sounds extremely ominous!
When she was finally done studying the heart sonars and myriad of other measurement results, she looked us straight in the eyes, and said the most beautiful words I’ve heard in a long time: “Well, I can’t see any reason why Minette can’t have a wonderful party next week – she’s as fit as a fiddle!” We were still trying to come to grips with this news, and unbelievingly pushed her for any restrictions or special care we should take, but the short story was simply that Minette’s heart had completely healed, and what remained of the issues she’d had was so minor as to be completely normal – she was free to be herself again. No more keeping her still, no more breaks sitting at her desk in class, no more avoiding running and jumping – she was as good as new!
Was this a miracle?
Well, I guess that depends on your definition of a miracle. I’m not too concerned about whether or not some academician would call this a bona-fide, unmistakable act of God – that’s for Him to decide! What I do know is this: We (and many others) asked for Minette’s healing, and it was granted to us that she be fully restored. Is this a formula others can follow to guarantee healing of their sick? Absolutely not. Rather, my story is meant as encouragement to those who are going through similar pains of doubt and fear.God never lost control of Minette’s health. He was never far in our time of need either, but we had a strong fortress in the time of need. Knowing that He was (in Schaefer’s words) “there, and not quiet”, carried us all through, and when Minette was finally healthy again there was no doubt in my mind that His mercy and grace was demonstrably present in this situation. It was instrumental in both her seemingly impossible recovery to health over the span of mere days between the previous doctor’s assessment and this last, as well as in our ability to find refuge in His love and kindness.
God did not heal our child immediately when we prayed, but he did much more: He provided an opportunity for a whole class of second-graders to see the power and effectiveness of prayer in action. He taught Antoinette and me the value of trusting in Him regardless of the circumstances, and He showed His power by healing our beautiful girl completely – in His time and His way.
As I’m writing this, it’s more than a year after the event, and Minette is doing great – and so are we. We have learnt to trust in His love, and praise His name for the grace we received in this situation. If you are going through a similar situation, I dearly wish that I had a magic formula, or secret prayer to share that would make your fear and sorrow disappear. I don’t. What I do have though, is confirmation that Jesus is real, loving, merciful and ever-present. There is no need to face life alone. He is worthy to be trusted with your problems - and your soul.
In two weeks from now, God willing, I will have the wonderful privilege of baptising Minette, and seeing her also confirming and testifying to her identification with the death, resurrection and life of our risen Lord. If I know anything, I know this: God is a great God and worthy to be praised!
You write well :-)
ReplyDeleteBut did you ask the question whether God caused Minette's condition in the first place?
Thanks for the compliment!
DeleteI did in fact ask that question, and it’s not an easy one to answer. In fact, I'm not convinced it's one that is answerable, even in principle. Let me explain why:
God is a free agent, and is able to do whatever He wishes. Here's an analogy: I cannot know everything my wife does, but I can know my wife. It is based on my knowledge of my wife and my relationship with her that I then make certain decisions of trust regarding her actions and intentions.
It is the same with God. He does not ask of us to trust Him blindly. Rather, He has chosen to enter into a relationship with us, and has also revealed Himself to us through Jesus and the Bible. As a Christian, I'm sometimes (often?) faced with perplexing situations in which I wonder about God's plans and intentions in my life. I have however learnt to trust Him, because I know Him.
Practically speaking? I don't know exactly what God's role in this situation was - actively causing things or allowing things to happen. I do know however that He never lost control of the situation. I also have His word that for those who love God all things work together for good. (Rom 8:28)
Do I know how this works? No. Do I have every reason to trust God that it does in fact work? Absolutely.
Ok... and I guess you would have given a very similar answer, would Minette's condition have deteriorated ?
DeleteWell, unfortunately I do have such an example, more than one in fact. About a year before this incident with Minette, my wife (Antoinette) became seriously ill.
ReplyDeleteI'll not go into the details of her medical situation here, it's not important. What is important is rather that it has been two years, and she is still not well.
Instead of giving a complete case study here (I'll rather write another blog about this), let me say that in spite of Antoinette's physical health problems, her spiritual health has never been better, and the impact that she is having on the lives of those around her has grown exponentially.
Does this mean that we're satisfied with her condition, or that she doesn't feel as badly when she has off days and can hardly get up out of bed? No! What it does mean is that we both see God's sustaining hand even in the midst of the situation. We don't understand why she still has to suffer with the sickness, but our hope and our trust is that God will heal her in His time, and simultaneously bring something out of the situation for His Kingdom, and for us.
James 1:2-4 tells us about the outcome of steadfastly trusting in God while experiencing trials, and Phil 1:6 assures us that God doesn't leave things undone. We therefore trust in His provision while we continue to pray that she recovers fully.
I sometimes feel that I need a god that is really omnipotent that can at least protect us from things like this and make us understand reasons for why it is not being done...otherwise, what's the point...
ReplyDeleteTell you what, I sometimes feel like that too. But I guess the whole point is that we're not God, but when we get to know Him, we can learn to trust in Him, even when we don't get that explanation.
DeleteIt's a tall order, but if God were beholden to us to explain everything, he would probably not be a God worth serving in the first place...
I hear you... however, if I look at the human population - Christians, Hindu, Buddhists, Muslim, Atheists, the lot - I don't see a marked difference in their relative lives, especially if you look at them within a particular society.. Everyone has children that die, relatives that are horribly sick, down syndrome kids that get born, horrible crimes, natural disasters etc. The only conclusions that I can get to is:
Delete- that God treats everybody equally, it does not matter who you are, if you pray/believe/TRUST to/in God or not
- that God does not exist.
- or that God created us but left
And therefore, the religion(s) that we have left is a only coping mechanism for life and all of its 'ins' and 'outs' (incl sickness and health). So... my answer to your original question... is 'NO'