Finding the Sweet Spot

Golfers often talk about that sweet "ping" when they hit the ball just right.  Other sports have other names for it, but generally speaking, any sportsman / woman can tell you exactly how the ball's going to fly without even looking at the shot.  A sweet spot is that area of the club that gives you that ideal hit, the great shot - the ping!

 

The memory of such a "ping" life-moment is often what keeps us going - whether you're thinking back to a  great holiday, successful business deal, or any noteworthy event in your life.  Like out-of-luck gamblers we will often spend lots of time and effort trying to re-capture that  feeling.  The fact is unfortunately that it's rarely the case that a ping moment comes your way by some coincidence or purely lucky state of affairs.  Mostly, it requires good planning and consideration of a variety of factors - not all of which are in your control.

No game is only won on the field.  Selecting the righ club in the store, putting it through its paces in excercise and training, and finally choosing the right club for any given shot when you're actually playing in the tournament are all neccessary elements in finding the sweet spot when it counts most.

 

The Ping of Christian Apologetics

 

Just like the game of golf, presenting and defending our faith also requires preparation, training, and careful selection of the appropriate approach to share your Christian convictions with others.

I often find myself yearning for an opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Of course witnessing is not exactly the same as sport, where its all about your talent, practice and effort! 

Witnessing to others is like playing sports where the objective of the game is to let the other person win! 

The fact that Christian witnessing is all about the other person (or should be), and not about yourself and the game does however not mean that there is no obligation on you to prepare less thoroughly. I rather think  the opposite is true.  The very value of the "prize" to be won makes it all the more worth preparing, practicing and carefully planning your approach and tactics.  (I use the term "prize" here very carefully, since I don't consider others a prize to win - I rather consider the Gospel of Christ a prize to be shared, something which others can also win if they choose to.)
 

I regularly wonder about the best way to approach others and let them think carefully about their faith. 
 

Together with this issue of the right "pitch" (if I may stick to sporting metaphors), there is also the question of how to approach someone in any given situation in order to be a faithful witness.  Some of us are so enamoured with our knowledge about the Bible, Christianity and even the Good news, that we forget all too easily about the fact that we're talking to real people, people who are loved by God, and should be loved by us as well! If you are also wondering about these things, here are some suggestions that I've picked up from the experts, and others that I have acquired myself by hacking out of the rough where I've landed myself on too many occasions!
 

Some Suggestions 

Don't chose your club before you survey the hole. 

You might be a great putter, but startin with a putter when you are on a par 5 won't get you any birdies.  Each of us have our favourite approaches to starting and advancing discussions, and we usually go about them in ways that we feel comfortable with, but there is a definite risk with such an approach.  You could be discussing non-issues, totally irrelevant pet-topics, or convincing someone of something they are not even denying!

 

My first suggestion therefore is simple: Don't decide beforehand what you're going to say, rather proceed with questions.  Asking the right questions in any conversation has a multitude of benefits, such as:

• Ensuring that you're not addressing your concept of someones issues, but rather the real issue itself (guarding against straw-man fallacies)
• Demonstrating that you are really interested in the person you are talking with .  (Of course this requires that you actually listen to the answers you receive, and don't assume you know the answers, or start planning the next clever thing to say while the other person is talking!  STOP TALKING AND REALLY LISTEN!!!)
• Keeping yourself out of the hot-seat.  If you are not sure of your information on any given topic, rather ask questions and go get the answers than try to sound clever with half-baked responses.
• As long as you are asking questions, you're not making statements which needs to be backed up with knowledge and facts.  This allows you to keep a conversation flowing while arranging for a better place and time to make your case once you have prepared yourself.
 

Remember whom you're playing with (Contextualise...)

That's right - saying the right thing at the wrong time will not help at all.  Here's a few tips:

• Don't try to have a six-hour conversation in five minutes. If you know there's not going to be enough time to make your point, rather make sure your actions speak of love and grace so that the one you're dealing with will actually give someone else the opportunity to do so.
• Don't try to win every argument!  Firstly you're probably not always right, and secondly nobody likes a wiseguy.  Rather step away from unimportant issues, and focus on the really important stuff.
• Make sure you know your own limitations. Don't pretend to be an expert at something you're not.  Rather explain your opinions, and make sure that you refer to your sources instead of trying to make as if every good idea is your own.

 

Leave the Weirdness at home!

That's right.  Remember that the objective of any discussion about your faith is to be a good ambassador for Christ, not to impress someone with clever Christian sayings or church language that will leave the average non-christian thinking you're from Mars!

 

The Good news about Jesus is rather simple.  He's Good, we're not, so we have a problem.  He's solved it, so let's make sure we get on His side!  Sure, there's a lot more to say, but you have to take care that the language you use is not so "Christianese" that you completely miss the opportunity to share the simple, good news of what Jesus already achieved for us.

Bombarding non-christians with massively complicated theories about the end-times, numerology or the value of speaking in tounges before they have come to meet Jesus and see Him in you will more likely cause them to see you as a conspiracy theorist than a person they will want to learn from.

 

Last thought

Your personal witness should underline your message. Share what God is doing in your life, but don't be boastful or condescending.  Nothing is as stirring and beautiful as a personal account of a life changed and lived for Christ.

 

Is God in Control?

About eighteen months ago, our beautiful girl Minette got the flu. It was right in the middle of gymnastics season (her favourite activity!), and she hated being ill and not able to participate as much as she wanted to.  Like moms do, Antoinette did everything she could to make sure that Minette kept herself relatively quiet, and even went as far as keeping her out of school for a whole week, because she was clearly not well.

Well, Minette got better (as they do), and slowly started picking up where she left off - except that she still wasn't fully recovered.  When another week went by, and she complained of chest pains and being tired, Antoinette took her to the doc again to be checked out.  I was relatively unaware of all the turmoil, simply noticing that Minette was not getting well as soon as she should have, so you may imagine my shock when I called Antoinette at the doctors only to learn that Minette has been referred for a heart sonar - because her pulse rate was unusually high, and the doc picked up a distinct heart murmur.

It was all poor Antoinette could do to keep her pose while she took Minette straight for the sonar (which, she learnt afterwards, was already incredible that she got the opportunity to have done straight away).  The sonar confirmed the fears of the GP that one of the valves in Minette's little heart (I'll leave it to the clever medics to say which exact one), was indeed not sealing properly, and was apparently under-performing as a result of the flu-bout.

Of course we were all very shocked, and speaking for myself, I immediately recalled horror-stories of children suffering through life requiring constant care and attention, and never being able to participate in anything physical as a result of heart conditions.  A follow-up appointment was made, with strict instructions that Minette should abstain from any physical exercise, and keep herself very, very quiet.

A month later, after a long school holiday during which Minette's symptoms showed (to our untrained and optimistic eyes) improvement, they were back at the doctor's to see if, like she hoped, Minette's heart had improved as a result of the rest. We were all very optimistic, so our disappointment and confusion was immense when there was no improvement. The GP was very worried, and referred Minette to a specialist pediatric cardiologist.  Words that I never wanted to hear in the same sentence as our precious little girl's name. Unfortunately, the cardiologist could only see us in another month - leaving us with three months of fear and doubt to struggle through.
In the meantime, there was nothing for it but to put on a brave face and wait.  Except...this is where the questions start.

Questions…

Both Antoinette and I, even though anxious for Minette's health, were strangely calm about it. During this period, I guess we could have gone one of two ways:  We could question God about the reasons behind this, or we could trust Him. Not only trust Him to heal Minette, but trust Him.  Full stop.
This, of course, is much easier said than done! Trust requires both an object and a subject.  I trust in someone for something, not so?  So then the question arose:  What do we trust God for?  At this time, we also discussed this issue in our church’s cell group, and I came to the shocking realisation that this was not an academic / theological exercise, but an existential one.  Explaining it away does nothing to address the angst of the moment.  These kinds of issues are not only to be understood, they are to be lived, experienced, felt and prayed through. 

I had to learn to trust God for His sovereign grace in this situation - that He would take care of this, even though I could not.  My prayers therefore, were simple.  I confessed to Jesus my inability to understand the situation, and prayed that He would heal Minette.  I did not try to use any prayer formulas, or think through the situation - I realised very quickly that this was simply a question of trusting in God for his sovereign provision in Minette's life.

The Answer

Some people, when faced with such inexplicable adversity, choose to question God's love, His faithfulness, His care.  As for myself – in my lowest moments of doubt, I found refuge there!

Instead of asking how God could allow this if He is in control, I found rest in the very knowledge that He is in control!  Please don’t get me wrong – this is not me praising myself for my high Christian morals, it is rather a confession of helplessness, and of how knowledge of the very character of the Father made it possible to work through the worry and confusion.

Minette’s eighth birthday was coming up in a fortnight, and she was bent on having an ice-skating party with her friends.  While we didn’t want to upset her (she was already spending school breaks in class while friends played outside because she could not run or be active without her pulse rate going through the roof), we silently prepared to break the news to her that skating was not on the cards any more, and that we’d have to plan for something much quieter.

Through a doctor friend at school, Antoinette was able to have an earlier appointment made with another cardiologist, and this time around we both arranged to be at the hospital with Minette. The day of the appointment, something very special happened: Her teacher at school invited the mothers of the other children in her grade to join them in class, and together with all her classmates they laid hands on Minette and prayed that she would be healed.  Meanwhile, I came home from work early, and off we went to see the heart-doctor.  Again, before we went into the hospital, we prayed together as a family (our youngest, Tertius, also came along), and asked the Lord for a positive outcome to the tests.

I was as nervous in the waiting room as I’ve ever been, and when we finally got called in to see the young specialist, I was still very tense.  After she went through the normal preliminaries of obtaining a thorough medical background, she continued to do what all doctors (and car mechanics!) seem to do:  Use fancy tools to look & listen while making a variety of noises which to the untrained and nervous ear sounds extremely ominous!

When she was finally done studying the heart sonars and myriad of other measurement results, she looked us straight in the eyes, and said the most beautiful words I’ve heard in a long time: “Well, I can’t see any reason why Minette can’t have a wonderful party next week – she’s as fit as a fiddle!”  We were still trying to come to grips with this news, and unbelievingly pushed her for any restrictions or special care we should take, but the short story was simply that Minette’s heart had completely healed, and what remained of the issues she’d had was so minor as to be completely normal – she was free to be herself again.  No more keeping her still, no more breaks sitting at her desk in class, no more avoiding running and jumping – she was as good as new!

Was this a miracle?

Well, I guess that depends on your definition of a miracle.  I’m not too concerned about whether or not some academician would call this a bona-fide, unmistakable act of God – that’s for Him to decide!  What I do know is this:  We (and many others) asked for Minette’s healing, and it was granted to us that she be fully restored.  Is this a formula others can follow to guarantee healing of their sick?  Absolutely not.  Rather, my story is meant as encouragement to those who are going through similar pains of doubt and fear.

God never lost control of Minette’s health.  He was never far in our time of need either, but we had a strong fortress in the time of need.  Knowing that He was (in Schaefer’s words) “there, and not quiet”, carried us all through, and when Minette was finally healthy again there was no doubt in my mind that His mercy and grace was demonstrably present in this situation. It was instrumental in both her seemingly impossible recovery to health over the span of mere days between the previous doctor’s assessment and this last, as well as in our ability to find refuge in His love and kindness.
God did not heal our child immediately when we prayed, but he did much more:  He provided an opportunity for a whole class of second-graders to see the power and effectiveness of prayer in action.  He taught Antoinette and me the value of trusting in Him regardless of the circumstances, and He showed His power by healing our beautiful girl completely – in His time and His way.

As I’m writing this, it’s more than a year after the event, and Minette is doing great – and so are we.  We have learnt to trust in His love, and praise His name for the grace we received in this situation.  If you are going through a similar situation, I dearly wish that I had a magic formula, or secret prayer to share that would make your fear and sorrow disappear. I don’t.  What I do have though, is confirmation that Jesus is real, loving, merciful and ever-present.  There is no need to face life alone.  He is worthy to be trusted with your problems - and your soul.

In two weeks from now, God willing, I will have the wonderful privilege of baptising Minette, and seeing her also confirming and testifying to her identification with the death, resurrection and life of our risen Lord. If I know anything, I know this:  God is a great God and worthy to be praised!

Why Philo Christi?

I had to chuckle.  When I told my wife earlier today that I wanted to start a blog, her answer was very short, and very funny!  She only had one word: "Why?"

Well, let me start with the name of this blog: Philo Christi.  Philo Christi means the love of Christ. It's supposed to cut both ways:  The love of Christ for us, but also our love for Him.  Loving Christ is not a concept that has always been easy for me to understand.  What does it mean to love Christ, and how do I experience His love for me?

I guess there are three basic questions to answer:

Does Jesus love me?

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..."

What an awesome truth, in so few words.  But where does the Bible tell me about this love?  I know that John 3:16 tells me about the love of God for the world, but is Jesus really participating here, or was he the unfortunate scapegoat who had to suffer on my behalf?  That's not the picture that I have in my mind about the Jesus of the New Testament - neither in His dealings with people while on earth, nor in what the rest of the New Testament tells us about Him.  In essence, He loves enough to have created me, yet not to leave me to my own devices.  He died for me, saved me, sustains me, as well as guarantees my hope of glory - and that's a pretty big deal!

Don't take my word for it though - let's see what the Bible says about this:

• John 1:3 says that He made everything, and that nothing was made without Him.  That includes me!  Now unless I should think that he created me without purpose, just because He had nothing better to do one evening  thirty-something years ago, that already means a lot. Think of it:  The God of the universe created me (and you!) for a purpose.  We're here for a reason.  We were made with a plan.  My life and yours was carefully considered, it matters - I matter to Jesus.  Eph 1:3,4 tells us something about the forethought He had in creating us.  No human being (born, unborn, young or old) can ever be called an accident.   That sounds like love to me.
• He went through unimaginable suffering to create a way for me to be saved.  What a great God!  Not only is He just, but also merciful.  Not only merciful, but also empathetic and compassionate.  He knows I need rescuing, and became the very instrument of my salvation.  I wasn't saved from God, but rather for Him and through Him! That too, sounds like love to me!
• There's more! Not only do I live because of Him, but I also live for Him and through Him.(Acts 17:28).  This means that He does not only guarantee my future, but He also guarantees my present. What does it mean for someone to look after me right now? It means that He is concerned with my daily well being.  My comings and goings are in His mind. Like a doting parent who loves to watch her child at play, Jesus sustains my life, and cares for me every minute of the day.  He's the one who says that the hairs on my head are numbered (Mathew 10:20).  That definitely sounds like love to me!

How do I go about experiencing this love?
God's love is often portrayed as something that's out there - something outside of me, like His omniscience, or His omnipotence, or something like that. Yet I think that the very nature of love makes it more than a "mere" attribute of God.  To say that my dog is white with black spots is not the same as to say that she is loving.  To say that God is loving (or in fact that God is love), implies something about my expectation when I encounter Him in my life.

I have an acute desire to experience the love of Jesus personally - I do not only want to know about Him, I also want to know Him!  Now do not get me wrong:  I don't think it's possible to know someone without knowing about them, and yet there's more to knowing someone than possessing a collection of facts about them.  I have personally found that there are three keys to growing in this experience of His personal love for me:

• Before I can experience His love, I have to admit that the abundance of grace I experience comes directly from Him. This is the first key to experiencing His love.  It's simply a natural response to feel loved when you are showered with love!  You have to recognise the author and giver of the love poured out over you before you can properly respond!  Stop trying to explain away His loving kindness as good luck and start giving Him the honour that becomes Him for showering you with grace.
• Secondly, I think its also important to understand that loving Jesus is not only an emotional experience.  It is the result of learning something about Him.  John Piper says it well:  "One key is to realize that the experience is not like hypnosis or electric shock or drug-induced hallucinations or shivers at a good tune. Rather it is mediated through knowledge. It is not the same as knowledge. But it comes through knowledge. Or to say it another way, this experience of the love of God is the work of the Spirit giving unspeakable joy in response to the mind's perception of the demonstration of that love in Jesus Christ". 
• The last key is spending time with Him. The more I realise His care for me, the more I learn about His purposes for me, the more I desire to spend time in His word, and worship Him in prayer.  This is probably the most important key to experiencing God that any believer could grasp. 

Experiencing His love starts then, with recognising that He is the source of goodness in my life. It continues with learning more about Him, and it blossoms with each moment that I spend with Him in devotion.

How do I love Him back?

I should share something with you that is happening as I write this: I am experiencing an upwelling of devotion, of affection as I think about just exactly how much Jesus cares for me.  It's more than just a feeling of gratefulness for things received - its also a feeling of togetherness, of realness.

The Bible is pretty clear about loving Jesus.  He said in Matthew 12:47 that those who do the will of his Father in heaven are his family.  When asked by the Pharisees what the most important commandment was, Jesus simply said to Love God, and to love our neighbor (Mark 12:29-31).  Later on, Jesus says that those who love Him, follow His commandments (John 14:15). (This is not about a guilt trip.  The wonderful thing about living this new life is that, just like the faith of Romans 1 which is required to enter into a relationship with God, 1 Cor 10:13 tells us that God also provides the way to overcome sin and temptation)

I love Jesus.  This love is expressed in two ways:  Firstly, and foremostly, it is a natural response to what He did and still does by showering me with saving and sustaining grace.  When I meditate on that, my soul rejoices in Him, and my heart responds in love and affection. Secondly, my love for Jesus is expressed in a desire to serve Him with my life.  

That is what the concept of the Love of Chirst (Philo Christi) means to me. To be loved, is to love back.